THAT’S IT FOLKS!

.. well nearly!

The ‘Monkey Makeover’ is finally complete and Mr Monkey has now moved to his new home at Mr Monkey’s Blog.

If you would like to see what mischief and mayhem he’s been causing Click here.

REMEMBER: Although there will be no new material posted on this site please explore the older material on this site at your leisure.

'We've only moved folks'

Miliband Denounced

A senior minister has broken cover to denounce David Miliband’s attempt to present himself as a future Labour leader.

Jim Knight, the minister of state for schools said he is glad to see the back Foreign Secretary David Miliband has gone on holiday and went on to advise Mr Miliband to knuckle down and “play his part in Gordon’s government,” when he returns.

 

Mr Knight’s intervention, made in a newspaper interview, comes as Alan Milburn, the former health secretary who is being tipped to play a major role in a future Miliband-led government increased the pressure on Gordon Brown’s by demanding controversial reforms in education and health.

 

Labour’s summer of in-fighting started after Mr Miliband published an article in the Guardian, click here, shortly after Labour’s humiliating defeat in the Glasgow East by-election.

 

Many believe that Mr Miliband’s subsequent refusal to rule out a direct challenge to the Prime Minister has tightened the noose around Gordon’s neck and it’s only a matter of time before he releases the trap door.

 

Mr Knight clearly believes Mr Miliband is positioning himself as Labour’s leader-in-waiting and reckons it’s a good thing he’s not around to suffer the fall-out from his comments.

 

Mr Knight said, “It’s probably just as well that he’s enjoying himself on holiday and that has allowed the rest of us to get on with the day to day stuff of politics and taking on the Tories.”

 

In other words David shut your mouth and leave the real politics to the big boys!

Monkeys Scoop The Gazette Again

The Gazette seems has been scooped by the monkeys again!

Whilst the Gazette’s reporters were out on the lash overnight researching future stories the monkeys were working overtime to bring readers local news before anyone else.

Mr Monkeys Blog features two exclusive news stories, click here and here for details.

The speed and flexibility of local blogs makes you wonder whether there is any need for a local newpaper unless of course you are fascinated by Family Notices!

Monkey Puzzle Unravelled

Mr Monkey has finally revealed the answer to last week’s Monkey Puzzle, click here for details.

You Can Still Use Your Blackberry Folks

'Spin on this Iain'

Even Emperor, Iain ‘Piggymus’ Malcolmus can’t manipulate Vodafone!

So you’re a councillor or senior officer and want access to The Monkeyhouse, MrMonkeysblog or Curly’s Corner Shop use your Blackberry. Despite strenuous efforts to stop you accessing these sites your Blackberry can’t be blocked by the Council’s self appointed censor and his minions.

To get access to the web from your Blackberry all you need do is go to the Vodafone Live page by clicking on the globe or www icon, wait till the page loads, and type in the blog address you want, it’s as simple as that! Alternatively click here for more detailed instructions.

Enjoy your Blackberry and make sure you keep a finger spare for Iain!

The ‘Thing’ Behind The Mask

Mr Monkey reckons he knows why Iain Malcolm wears a mask .. no it’s nothing kinky, at least that we know about! Apparently it’s something to do with his profession, click here to learn more.

“The Best Council At Failing To Deal With Elder Abuse”

'Nancy welcomes you to Colditz'

Seems those egotistical and self opinionated senior officers and councillors at South Tyneside Council have cause to celebrate lick their wounds today having picked up yet another award, albeit one they didn’t apply for which I suppose makes a change!

The award for ‘Best Council At Failing To Deal With Elder Abuse’ was presented by the Local Government Ombudsman in a report published yesterday, click here to view the full report.

The 15 page document lambastes South Tyneside Council for causing ”significant injustice” to two older people for failing to deal with their claims of harassment by their sheltered housing warden, Nancy Storey.

The Ombudsman ruled that the council’s failure to deal with the complaints left the neighbours - known as Mr P and Mrs S - living in an atmosphere of “harassment and fear” which eventually forced them to move out. The scheme was owned by the council and run by the infamous South Tyneside Homes, an arms-length management organisation with a poor reputation and complacent attitude.

The council has accepted and had no choice but to act on the Ombudsman’s recommendations to rehouse Mr P and Mrs S, pay for their moving expenses and reimburse the costs they incurred in moving out of the scheme.

 

South Tyneside Homes were also forced to pay them £2,500 compensation each, in recognition of the time, trouble and distress they experienced. 

 

Mr Monkey has also learned that as well as giving them the pick of any of their accommodation they have carried out extensive adaptions, refurbishment and upgrading of both properties.

The case began in 2004 after Mr P, who has mobility difficulties, complained that the warden had let an unattended repair engineer into his flat. He claimed that she then became abusive toward him and Mrs S and incited other residents to be hostile towards them.

The problem escalated and on one occasion the warden’s daughter turned up outside Mr P’s flat in the middle of the night shouting death threats. The incident was caught on tape and an ombudsman investigator described the recording as “harrowing”.

The investigation also revealed concerns from other residents, including from an older woman who said the warden ran the scheme “like Colditz”.

The report found that the council “completely failed to undertake any proper investigation” into the complaints and that a separate adult protection investigation regarding Mr P, which was supposed to be completed within 15 days, “meandered on for over six months”.

The warden Mrs Storey has been on extended sick leave since 2005 and has still to face any disciplinary action but in the meantime she has left the warden’s bungalow and has been rehoused by South Tyneside Homes in one of the more sought after bungalows in Jarrow!

Seems even Labour Council Leader Iain Malcolm is finding it difficult to spin his way out of this one but then I suppose he can always claim it didn’t happen under his watch. Although after all the recent hypocritical “we love” you Paul Waggott crap he can’t be seen to push the knife in his back any further .. at least not just yet!

Where Have All The Monkeys Gone?

Things have been strangely quiet in The Monkeyhouse over the last day or so and Mr Monkey wonders why?

Perhaps Mr Monkey is secretly working undercover in the Town Hall and is on the verge of revealing something big or is there a simpler explanation?

 Click here to find out what Mr Monkey may really be up to.

Another One Bites The Dust

Mr Monkey has learned that another senior officer is set to abandon ship leave South Tyneside Council for pastures new.

Paul Walker, Head of Regulatory Services and who amongst other things is responsible for overseeing the Planning Department has handed in his resignation and will be joining Salford City Council in September.

It’s common knowledge that Irene Lucas is also looking to move on and was recently unsuccessful in securing a top post with the new Durham Unitary Authority.

Seems everyone wants to get out quickly and Mr Monkey wonders whether it’s got something to do with Iain Malcolm’s perfume aftershave?

So much for Irene’s ‘Dream Team’!

Can Anyone Teach The Future MP For Jarrow To Read?

'Mr Monkey set to help fuckwit Bryan learn to read again'

Mr Monkey would like to thank the Green Party election candidate for Jarrow and the man behind the fuckwit green’s local blog, Bryan Atkinson for his help in driving traffic to The Monkeyhouse. Yesterday proved another record day.

I know it’s the silly season but his earth shattering observations that Mr Monkey and The Monkey are supporters of the “Indy Alliance Party” and that these monkies have now split really does reinforce the image that the Greens are fuckwits, a term Bryan and Brian often use!

In case the these fuckwits have been hugging trees and recycling their own shit asleep for the last few weeks the only groups not to have come under The Monkey microscope (except for an odd post) are the Greens, the LibDems, the Progressives, the BNP and the Real Independents, probably because they’re that insignificant in terms of the local poiltical scene that they are not worth bothering about!

Mr Monkey reckons that with the finely tuned research skills of fuckwit Bryan, the Greens have as much chance of success in Jarrow as there is of a monkey giving up bananas!

I’m just glad that if ever I need hospital treatment I won’t have to really on nurse Brian administering my medicine as he would struggle to read the label.

Mr Monkey would like to help fuckwit Bryan with his reading problem and recommends he practises his reading skills by clicking here, here, here, here. here, here and here

.. it might help him understand what a twat he’s made of himself!